no
vengeful dildos
tactical nippling
shit
fuck

owlmylove:

last night i dreamt i was at a baseball game and i was on the kiss-cam next to this cute boy with his family and everyone was cheering us on and the guy smiled at me and i smiled back and then i leaned over and kissed his sister instead and the stadium went completely silent before the announcer said “well that was certainly a curveball” and i laughed so hard i woke myself up

daccodacc:

I laughed so hard no sound came out

ironyofchokingonjacksdick:

A sentence I never thought I would read

ironyofchokingonjacksdick:

A sentence I never thought I would read

politicallyincorrectwalrus:

i love the term “partners”
are we dating?
are we robbing a bank?
do we run a legal firm?
are we the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies and are members of an elite squad known as the special victims unit?
who knows.

sickomobb:


me.

sickomobb:

me.

deanwearspinksatinpanties:


gaaaaaaaaaambit:

its a knife holder

 #everyone’s-a-knife-holder-if-you-try-hard-enough

flowury:

u ever hear someone’s opinion and feel like you need to lie down

how to win a fight in anime

attack-on-ackerman:

1. fight rly hard

2. get the shit beat out of u and fall on the ground

3. get up slowly with blood dripping from ur mouth

4. crack a smile and say something about friends and not giving up

5. win. thats it u will automatically win after following steps 1-4